Wedding Question: How Should I Respond to the Wedding Invitation?


Photo from The Wedding Lens


I have a question regarding “plus ones”. I received a RSVP card that allows space for only the invited (“M____ accepts/declines”). However, when I looked at their wedding website, it noted that we are free to bring a guest. I feel awkward asking her directly because I will only be able to attend if I am allowed to bring my boyfriend (we had already reserved that weekend months in advance to spend together since we rarely get to see each other).

Should I assume that plus ones are allowed based on the wedding site or should I rely on the RSVP card that did not include a space for “plus one”? If I do rely on the wedding site, how do I note that I’ll be bringing a guest on the RSVP card that doesn’t have a “plus one” space?

Interesting! So there are two parts to this: 1) Can you bring a date? and 2) How do you reply?

Can you bring a date?

First, the key to knowing whether or not a date is permitted is usually on the envelope. Usually the invitation is specifically addressed to the people invited: “Natasha and Guest” or “Natasha and Adam” or, simply “Natasha.” Based on those addresses, you can kind of tell who’s invited, right? Right.

That said, it sounds like this person may not have followed that “protocol” and elected to let guests know otherwise. If this is the case, just be sure that the website does say that all guests can bring a date. Remember, most couples are aware that people may respond “incorrectly” and they will nip that in the bud. For example, if you respond with “Me + Date” and Date isn’t invited, the couple will likely contact Me and let Me know that Date wasn’t part of the invite. Obviously that can be a bit awkward. So just double check the website again.

How should you reply?

Second, how to respond? Well, it sounds like a standard invitation, so dont worry! Most invitations only have room for one name, though you should be able to write both in. M___________ can probably fit a “Ms. Me Last Name & Mr. Guest Last Name if you write small enough. That’s what’s expected, so give it a shot.

Bear in mind, most couples also number their guest list and put that number on the invitation. Take a close look, you might find a number in the corner of the response card envelope or response card. Why do they do that? Because if you forget to write on it and accidentally send it back blank, they’ll still know who sent it! And, if you write illegibly, they’ll still know! Voila.

I think that should answer all the questions — hope it helps! Good luck!

Let me know if YOU have a wedding question:

~ Natasha


One Response

  1. This is a terrible idea. She should contact the bride to figure out if she is allowed to bring a guest. They might have made the website early in the planning process and by the time they sent out invites they realized they could no longer invite everyone’s guest. They might have just forgot to update the site to reflect that.
    This guest is being rude if they assume they can just write whomever in the M_________. If is only has room for one person then she should ask the bride if it’s ok to bring another person before just writing in another name.

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