How to Deal with Anonymous or Unlabeled Gifts

Two friends who recently got married received a package in the mail — something they were so excited to get and couldn’t wait to thank the gift giver. BUT there was no card and no indication of who sent it. What to do?

photo from marie claire

photo from marie claire

They also have the opposite problem that they didn’t receive gifts from some of their friends and they weren’t sure how to approach it — if at all. They now know that their guests have a full year to send the gift. They also know that times are tough economically and they’re very grateful that their friends joined in their special day.

Here’s my suggestion…. This works for both situations. Wait about 3-6 months (probably 6 months is better) and then send thank you notes to each person who either you haven’t received a gift from or you dont know (because of an unlabeled gift). Thank them SINCERELY for coming to the wedding — and say something personal so that it’s not a form thank you note.  It should come from your heart, a true “thank you so much for coming all the way from [insert place.] we loved having you with us and watching you bust a move on the dance floor!” (I know, I know, but you get the idea).

The thank you does a few things. First, it makes people realize that you really do appreciate that they were there. Second, it might make someone think “Oh yah, that reminds me, I sent that gift and never heard anything — I wonder if I forgot to put my name on it?” and perhaps contact you to say so (and then you know who gave you your new favorite toaster!). Third, it might be a subtle reminder to those who want to get you something that they haven’t done so. This is sensitive though, which is why I strongly emphasize that the thank you MUST be sincere and you should wait AT LEAST three months (and closer to six) before sending something. You dont want to seem like you’re asking for presents — because most of you aren’t!

Do you have another tactic? Good luck!

~ Natasha

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