Wedding Etiquette: Last minute cancellations & invites

I received another wedding question:

If people bail late, how do you fill their spots? or should you? We are getting married next week and we had to turn in our final catering numbers last week. Now we’ve found out that there are 3 people who may have to cancel! Since we’ve already for them, we’d like to fill their spots. But then of course the people we’ll be inviting will know they didn’t make the A list or even the B list. Etiquette?

In researching this, there seems to be a resounding: don’t fill spots last minute.

However! I have a different philosophy on this that might work for some people. If you are inviting people who you like and who know that they weren’t invited to your wedding, I think they would be flattered to be invited — even if last minute. (Though I also know a few people who would be really hurt that they were invited last minute, so go figure.) I think you do this with candor: 

“Hey, you know we were really having a hard time fitting in as many people as we wanted to during this whole wedding planning process.  It actually turns out that we have room for a few more people and we would LOVE it if you would join us.” 

Either they say yes or no and are offended or not. I tend to think that you cant be offended by candor & honesty. And really? If they’re THAT offended that you wanted them there at the last minute, I wonder if they’re really destined to be your friends.

Good luck! And I’m certain someone disagrees …. comment below!

~ Natasha

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