How To Deliver A Funny Best Man Speech That Won’t Cause Offense

The following is a guest post from David Doran , an expert on best man speeches and is the co-founder of BestManApp.com the web app for best men. Enjoy!

Everyone expects a best man to be funny, the humor in his speech may be the yardstick with which the success of his speech is measured.  However as best man you need to ensure that the humor does not come at a cost.  If you make jokes about the past love lives of the bride and groom for example, you will not only lose the support of the wedding guests but you will almost certainly lose the friendship of your best friend (or brother), the groom.

Topics that the wedding guests will find offensive include jokes/stories that humiliate the bride, stories told using vulgar language, inappropriate stories about the bachelor party and any reference to former girlfriends/ former wives.

There are a lot of ways to deliver a humorous best man speech by using tasteful humor, as opposed to resorting to adult humor that will almost certainly offend some of the guests at the wedding.  In this article I have highlighted 6 areas of your speech where you can add humor and have the wedding guests in fits of laughter if done correctly.

1. Jokes
2. Props
3. Wedding advice
4. Quotes   
5. One liners
6. The toast

Jokes

Funny jokes are a fundamental aspect of a best man speech and as such you need to have 3 or 4 short jokes included in your speech.  Remember to provide jokes that everyone will get, as opposed to “in jokes” that only you and your buddies will find amusement with.  Choose funny wedding-related jokes that are short, long jokes won’t have the same impact.  Make sure the jokes you select are funny, as nothing will dampen your confidence quicker than the sound of silence as you reel off the punch line to a lame joke.

Props for a best man speech

Props can turn ordinary best man speeches into sensational speeches if chosen correctly, that is how important they can be to a funny best man speech.  The great thing about props is that you can create the illusion that you have in your possession something that you don’t, for example a letter taken from an envelope in your pocket can become the groom’s college report, or his Facebook profile. 

 Another great prop is to have a funny photo of the groom blown up to a lifesize image (many photography shops will do this).  The laughter your speech will receive as you unveil this prop will be a memory to treasure for a long time.

 Marital advice for the groom

Another very funny section of the best man speech is when the best man provides his own unique insight on marriage for the groom.  This should be good-natured humor implying that as the groom is now married he will be under the thumb and his wife very much the decision-maker in the relationship.

 Best man stories

As the groom’s best friend / brother, the best man should have some embarrassing stories about the groom that the wedding guests will find funny.  Begin your story with a teasing beginning, such as “I am going to tell you a story about the groom that I have never told anyone before”, or “Want to hear an embarrassing story about the groom?” before going on to share your funny story with the guests.

 Witty wedding one liners

One liners are very effective in a best man speech and allow the best man to maintain his theme of humor in the speech.  These quips and puns can provoke laughter in great measures so make sure that you include a couple in your best man speech.

 The Best Man toast

When ending your best man speech you can choose to finish with a humorous best man toast or a sincere one.  A humorous toast should be lighthearted yet still get the message of love and hope across as the bride and groom begin a new life together as bride and groom.

If your funny best man speech is a hit then you will have memories to last a lifetime and you will have people congratulating you for the entire day.  The feeling of exhilaration after giving a best man speech that people enjoyed will stay with you for some time so practice and rehearse your speech, all the effort will be worth it.

About David Doran: Dave lives in Dublin, Ireland, is a cancer survivor and is the co-founder of Best Man App the web app for best men.

The Oblivious Bride: The Engagement Story

Hello blog readers!  My name is Jenny Fong and I am the Marketing and Business Development Manager for The Wedding Lens.  I joined The Wedding Lens team in December and have been working mostly behind the scenes.  Well, on April 3^rd, 2010, my boyfriend, Chris, proposed!  So like the old TV commercial says:   I’m not just a Wedding Lens employee, I’m also a client!

Will you be my disco queen? – An Engagement Story

Chris and I met on New Year’s Eve 2006-2007.  We were both invited to a week-long cabin trip to South Lake Tahoe organized by a mutual friend.  Earlier this year, the same mutual friend was planning…yep…another South Lake Tahoe cabin trip.  We signed up, as did 23 of our friends, knowing it would be epic weekend.  By the way, one thing you have to understand about this group of friends – whenever we have a chance to dress up, we do!  So our party planner extraordinaire declared Saturday night to be 70’s night.  Chris and I dug into our costume box to find our outrageous disco gear –my go-go dancer costume, his polyester pants and brown leather jacket.  Another friend was supplying my blond wig and fake eyelashes.  The last thing I expected in this outfit was a proposal!

As the group was getting dolled up to hit the casinos, Chris asked me to come outside to the deck with him.  There, overlooking beautiful Lake Tahoe, just across the shore from Kings Beach where Chris grew up, he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him!  But I was so shocked and not expecting the proposal that my first words were, “Are you kidding me????  Yes!!!  But are you kidding me????”

While we were talking on the deck, Chris’ accomplice inside, our mutual friend, was telling the rest of our group what was happening.  When we came back inside, we walked into raucous cheers, complete with champagne toasts.  The rest of the night was a fabulous disco celebration – crazy wigs and all!

Wigs, polyester, and an engagement ring

Sharing the Memories

The very next day, I realized I needed to start telling my family and friends about our engagement before it leaked on Facebook!  But I knew it would be hard to explain the costume party proposal over the phone.  Plus, I was busy getting proposed to and did not have the photos on my own camera – they were all on my friends’ cameras.  So I started my album on The Wedding Lens and asked the other cabin guests to upload their photos and videos from the weekend.  I added a few close-up photos of the ring and sent the album to all my loved ones.  With The Wedding Lens, all of our friends and family got to see our engagement as if they were there with us!

Unlike other photo sharing sites, I could easily capture group photos in a single location.  This is just one of the many reasons why The Wedding Lens is better for couples getting married!

Out of Our Element…

As you can tell, Chris and I are not very conventional.  We love our crazy, quirky friends and we like to have fun.  But we have a bit of a problem when it comes to wedding planning.  I’m more interested in going to a sports bar to watch my beloved California Golden Bears than dressing up in designer digs.  I am more comfortable in jeans than a skirt, and I don’t know the difference between chameuse and chiffon.  Even though I work for The Wedding Lens, I have never had an idea about my dream wedding, so we’re starting this process with a completely blank slate.  As I wade through these decisions and go through the process of planning a wedding, I’ll be sharing my thoughts and lessons learned through this blog.  I’m calling it “The Oblivious Bride” and I hope my stories will help others who might feel just as lost as I am.

Wedding Question: RSVP by Email?

One of my college friends is getting married in the Virgin Islands this summer. She sent out a Save the Date and I already know I wont be able to make it. Is it inappropriate for me to email her and let her know now that I wont be able to make it? I say email rather than phone call because we mostly stay in touch via email and pretty much never talk on the phone. 

photo from The Wedding Lens!

Interesting question! Well, there are two aspects to this question. First, there’s the idea that no invitation has been sent. Second, there’s the email communication question. Let’s take ’em one at a time….

It sounds like you’re reasonably close with this person, but not close enough that you would drop everything to be at her wedding in the Virgin Islands. (To be fair, I tend to think that most people who get married a long distance away (have a destination wedding, if you will) don’t really want or expect everyone they invite to be there. So don’t feel bad if you can’t make it. It’s a long way away and they can’t expect everyone to be able to travel so far.)

Ok, so no invitation was sent yet. It’s a little odd to send an RSVP when you haven’t been invited yet. On the other hand, I’m sure that your friends would appreciate knowing as early as possible that you can’t make it (and that they might be able to invite someone else in your stead…. not that anyone can replace you!) I think it boils down to how close you are and your relationship with your friend. You know her better than I do. If you think she’d appreciate knowing now, go for it.

As for email communication, I also firmly believe that you and your friend are FRIENDS. Etiquette aside, you are friends who communicate via email. So yes, go ahead and email her. Better to let her know via email than not at all, right?

In sum: Go ahead and let your friend know that you can’t make it via email, even though they haven’t sent out an invite yet. I’m certain some of my readers will disagree…. comment below! I’m curious to see what you all have to say.

Good luck!

~ Natasha

Top Ten Wedding Favor Ideas!

photo from The Wedding Lens!

Obviously there are a million ideas out there for wedding favors — from books to photos to plants. But sometimes it’s helpful to see the famous top ten. Here, my friends, are some great ideas for favors.

1. Seeds. Give out seeds for a plant or flowers. You can order personalized seed packets or stickers with your names & the date on them so people will remember where they got them from!
2. Tea. At one wedding I went to, they had cute little boxes of tea. They’re really cute, have a sticker with the couples’ names on it, and it’s useful (and tastey!)
3. Boxes of chocolate. A box of chocolate can range from a little box with a single truffle to a little hand made packet with M&Ms in it. Obviously the type of chocolate can depend on your price range — and your taste buds!
4. Donations. I think donating is a great way to give back to your community, so why not do it as a favor for your wedding? You can either print a card for the table that says something like “In lieu of favors, we donated to….” or have the DJ make the announcement. Or just break tradition and dont say anything, knowing that you did a good thing.
5. Eco-friendly grocery bags. Help the environment AND help your friends get their groceries. You can print your names and the date or put a silly picture on it.
6. Bottles of booze. Ok, I don’t literally mean that you should buy your pals a fifth of vodka, but something like that. Two friends of mine gave out bottles of limoncello… but not just any limoncello! They MADE it themselves, bottled it in adorable bottles, corked ’em and then put tags on the bottles so that they served as the placecards too. (In other words, each tag said someone’s name and their table number)
7. Candles. How about getting a lovely scented candle? Or perhaps a candle in a candle holder with your name on it? It’s small, useable, and creates ambiance. And it’s different.
8. Mints. You can get little boxes of mints!
9. Coasters. There are a lot of different kinds of coasters out there that you could give out. Nice ones with your names and the date, or a photo coaster, or a class one, or a styrofoam one. You can also buy either plain ones or frame ones yourself and write or place stickers on them to personalize them.
10. Photo / Picture frame. You can give out a photo of you and your significant other in a frame — or just the frame itself! People can put a photo of themselves at your wedding in the frame! You can also give out one per couple if you want to.

DO you have other creative favor ideas? Share ’em!

~ Natasha

The Wedding Lens Partner of the Month!

Congratulations to WedNet for becoming Partner of the Month for March 2010.  WedNet provides wedding planning advice and tips, a directory of wedding vendors, and is Safeway’s Seattle division’s official site for Safeway wedding cakes and flowers.

WedNet is one of the 150 wedding-related sites that The Wedding Lens works with.  Our partners are important to us, so please help support them by visiting their site: http://www.wednet.com

If you have a wedding-related blog or website, we’d like to become partners with you too!  More information is available here: http://www.theweddinglens.com/affiliate_program

– The Wedding Lens team

Wedding Question: How to Help a Friend Budget

One of my friends is getting married in about six months, though she just got engaged. She hasn’t booked anything yet but she keeps talking about how she wants the perfect dress, amazing flowers, and a ton of food and alcohol. And she wants to have 500 people! I just don’t get how she can do that given that she doesn’t have money and neither does her family. How can I help her budget this in a way that makes sense?

a bride shares her big moment with her close friends! photo from The Wedding Lens!

Good question! Wedding budgeting is a bit overwhelming and it’s easy to just skip that part and get on to the fun planning parts! But budgeting is key!

Explain to your friend that you really need to work out a budget for everything. Some people think this means sitting down and deciding how much they have to spend on each thing. And that’s fine! But it’s a good idea to know what may be expected. So start by checking out our guide to create a wedding budget.

Help your friend by taking a look at the average cost of weddings in the locale where she’s getting married. The average cost of a wedding in the US is probably around $30,000, but it depends on where you are. Some regions it will be higher, some lower. If you can help her see that her idealistic dream is going to cost her a pretty penny, maybe she’ll either change what she wants OR she’ll find a way to afford it all.

Get an idea of what the expenses will be and how many things there are to plan and pay for. This will also help shed some light on a realistic budget.

The most important thing that you should do is help support your friend. When she realizes that she wont be able to afford what she’s dreamed of, she’s going to be pretty upset and sad. It may sound ridiculous, but it’s not and how she feels about her wedding is real. Be sure you make her feel good about the positive things — the friends and family who will be there to love her and share in the joyful occasion.

Hope that helps! And if she’s needs some good cost-cutting tips, check out our cheap wedding tips.

Got other wedding planning questions, just ask! Email natasha@theweddinglens.com.

~ Natasha

Guest Post: Save Yourself the Stress – Wedding Registries!

Enjoy the following Guest post from our friends at Wishpot!

When it comes to the wedding registry, there are a lot of different things you could ask for. One thing you do not want to do, however, is impulse register. Sister to the “impulse buy,” the impulse register will leave you and your husband with a pile of useless doorstoppers. It may also leave you lacking in key areas. For example, you may have three hampers (because you saw a couple cute ones and couldn’t help but ask for them all) but no spoons. And you’ve never realized how important spoons are until you don’t have any.

 The other trap you could fall into is asking for things you think you like but, once they’re in your home, hate. That funky rug could look really great in the store but make your living room look cluttered.

 Don’t end up without spoons and with clutter! Here are a few quick tips to avoid wedding registry disasters:

1.  Get together with your hubby-to-be and figure out who has what. Get rid of duplicates, make note of things neither of you have.
2. Don’t get trigger happy. If you see something cool, make sure it will fit in with your décor.
3. Ask for advice. What are things people were glad they registered for? What are things they wish they hadn’t gotten?

 To help with that third step, here are a few ideas from our wise Wishpot experts!

Keep yourself organized and stylish with the Grandin Road – Hallway Organizer recommended by Cassandra.

Chic n Cheap Living recommends the Prodyne Fruit Infusion Pitcher for a fun kitchen appliance.

Keep yourself organized and stylish with the Grandin Road – Hallway Organizer recommended by Cassandra.

Try something classy and cute: the European Starling Plate suggested by East Side Bride is both.

 Check out the experts for more items or our wedding blogs for other wedding registry tips!

Why Bridesmaids & Groomsmen?

So last week I wrote blog post about why brides wear white wedding dresses and it’s led to a lot of other questions about the wedding planning process. In light of that, I decided that I should investigate more of these “traditions” to see where they came from. Now – why do we have bridesmaids and groomsmen?

Turns out that unlike the white wedding dress, the bridemaids and groomsmen is truly a “tradition” that stands the test of time.  There are several different version of the history out there, so I’ll just try to compile it the best way I can….

happy groomsmen at a modern day wedding! photo from The Wedding Lens!

Best Man & Groomsmen

So the long & the short of it is that the best man and the groomsmen have always been the guys who would say to the groom “dude, I got your back.”

Somewhere in the early A.D. era, there were when a dude couldn’t find a wife, he and his buddies would go to the next village over and steal a future wife. Yes, steal. The buddies not only helped with the stealing but they’d “get the groom’s back” during the wedding ceremony — you know, just in case the bride’s family wanted her back or something.

Other stories say that the groomsmen helped escort the bride to the wedding (even when she was a willing participant). 

bridesmaids at a modern day wedding, photo from The Wedding Lens

Maid of Honor & Bridesmaids

Bridesmaids were involved in the wedding ceremony for two reasons: to be a witness to the wedding and to confuse the evil spirits. Roman law required witnesses be present at the wedding — so that’s why the bridesmaids were there! Even today, many bridesmaids (or perhaps just the maid of honor) can serve as a witness to a wedding ceremony.

The evil spirit thing has to do with…. attire!

Attire

In the case of both the brides and the grooms, the groups would dress very similar to the bride & groom. Why? To ward off evil spirits of course! The idea was that the evil spirits would get confused by the similarity in dress. Which seems (to me) that maaybe those evil spirits weren’t so bright.

Anyway, “we’ve” kept the tradition of the bridesmaids dressing the same as each other, but not so much as the bride. Perhaps this is because the brides have recently adopted the tradition of wearing white instead of any old color. Obviously the groomsmen still dress very similarly to the groom.

So that’s the story of the bridesmaids & groomsmen. IS there anything you want to know the history of? Email me! natasha@theweddinglens.com.

~ Natasha

How to Handle the Guest List

Ok, so you have 200 slots and about 500 people you wish you could invite. There are people who you are obligated to invite (oh family) and there are some of those obligatory invites who you’re sure won’t be able to come. Like you’re PRETTY sure that Uncle Billy won’t be able to make it because he hasn’t traveled beyond the grocery store in the past 5 years. But what if he CAN make it? What if he decides to make the trip? How on earth will that work with numbers on the guest list?!

Photo of Guest Seating Decor from The Wedding Lens

First: Breathe. Remember that your wedding day is about a celebrating your relationship with your friends and family.

Second: Start listing. List everyone. All 300 people. Everyone you might possibly want to invite or wish you could invite — even though there’s the possibility that you won’t be able to in the grand scheme of things.

Third: Of those people on the list, make a separate list of the absolutely 100% non-negotiable people who you WANT to be at your wedding to celebrate. This includes: Your best friend, your second best friend, and your college roommates. This does not include: Your parents’ friends who you feel obligated to invite. Got it?

Fouth: Check the numbers. Say now you have 150 of the 200 people you can invite. That leaves you 80 people left to invite. Huh? 80? But Natasha, you say, 200 – 150 = 50! Ah yes. BUT statistically a guest list of 200 people or LESS, there will be 15-20% of folks who do not come. With a guest list of 200 people or MORE, 20-25% won’t come.

Now, I have to forwarn. Not everyone is going to RSVP in a timely manner and some of those 15-20% or 20-25% won’t drop out til the last minute. But I assure you that you can safely invite 15% more than your highest number and you will be a-okay.

So this gives you a little more room to play with. You’ll have 80 people you can fill in with obligatory invites — be it your Uncle or your parents friends who have known you since you were born — and (gasp) anyone else you can/want to invite.

Fifth: If you are just stuck with those extra 80 people and how to handle them. I really recommend using a ranking system. That sounds awful, of course, to rank your friends and family. But it will make you feel better. ‘Cause if Uncle Billy really doesn’t come, then maybe you CAN invite your old buddy who you haven’t seen in five years. Maybe.

If you use a tier/ranking system, use an EARLY RSVP date so you have time to fill in the people who say no and you can (with tact) follow up with those you have not heard from so you can fill in their spots. And if you do the tiers, DO NOT print the RSVP deadline on the invitation. Do not. Otherwise either you have to print a whole new set for the new invitees OR you look like… someone who totally forgot to invite the guest until the last minute. Nice.

Here are some tips on how to cut down the guest list and how to handle the guest list when you’re not paying for the wedding (in other words — when other people are adding to YOUR guest list) and more guidance on wedding invitations (including how to tell people they can’t bring a date and/or their kids)

And here, my friends, is how to address these invitations!

Hope that helps! If you have any questions, just email me at natasha@theweddinglens.com and I’ll help ya out. 🙂

Good luck!

~ Natasha

Why Your Wedding Needs an Online Photo Album

Ok, I think I’ve done this before but I wanted to reiterate why oh why you need an online photo album and why oh why it should be on The Wedding Lens!

10. Your friends are bringing their digital cameras to your wedding anyway and they need a place online to upload their photos. Plus their photos are fun and candid… like this….

Photo from The Wedding Lens

9. Your friends can share their videos of the wedding on The Wedding Lens waaay before your videographer gets back to you….

8. You want you & your guests to be able to upload and download ALL photos and videos at full resolution.

photo from The Wedding Lens!

7. You want to use a photo sharing site that has incredible customer service with real people who respond to your questions and concerns. 

6. You want to use a site that your guests don’t have to register for in order to upload their photos!

5. Your friends like seeing each other’s photos and the one album will be accessible to everyone. They can print or download whichever ones they like and want.

Photo from The Wedding Lens!

4. The Wedding Lens takes care of emailing reminders to your guests – so you don’t have to think twice about it, or feel like you’re bothering your guests.

3. You think that the person who writes The Wedding Lens blog is incredibly witty, knowledgeable, and, well, cute! (No comments from the peanut gallery, please!)

2. You thought you wanted to put disposable cameras on each table, but you realized it’s a lot easier (and cheaper) to ask your friends to upload all their own photos into your Wedding Lens album.  

1.  You really don’t want to have to go to 6 different websites to see all your friends’ photos of the wedding. It’s so much easier to have them all in ONE album online… on The Wedding Lens!

If that doesn’t convince you, let me know. I’ll work on it. 🙂

~ Natasha